FIRST YEARS
by Hidden Gems
Summary: Set on September 1st, 1971, this ficlet recounts Sirius and Remus' first arrival at Hogwarts. Click on the link to read more about the fears of a young werewolf who longs for acceptance and a pure-blood boy who just wants to find a place where he belongs.


**Disclaimer**: Not mine; why would I even pretend when we all know they belong to JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury and other publishers.

**A/N**: As you might notice, some of the words uttered before and during the sorting ceremony are taken straight from PS/SS. No copyright infringement intended; I just thought that the speech would probably be the same from one year--or even one generation--to another...

* * *

September 1st, 1971.

Sirius Black made sure to wake up first that morning. He had prepared everything the night before and had even managed to snatch some food from the kitchen that he had hidden under his bed and then in his trunk. Everything had gone according to his plan so far and he had managed to get dressed and move his trunk out of his bedroom without waking up anyone, which was a miracle in itself since he had to carry it himself.

Well, everything went according to plan until his younger brother, Regulus, opened his bedroom door with a rather noisy bang. "Where you going, Sirius?" he said louder than he needed to.

Sirius' heart skipped a beat and, for a second or two, he honestly considered jumping at his brother's throat to silence him. But before he had had time to move, he realised that what his brother had wanted had indeed worked. Soon enough, he heard footsteps getting closer, until a door on his right burst opened and his mother appeared.

"What's all this noise?" she barked. "Sirius, I know today's your first day, but have you seen the time? It's too early, you fool! Regulus," she added in a much nicer tone, "you can go back to bed. I'll come and get you in about an hour. Sirius, if you're ready you might as well go and have breakfast."

She shut the door and when Sirius turned around to stare at Regulus, the smirk he saw on his brother's face caused his rage to explode. He managed to keep it inside though, knowing all too well that Regulus would make sure to scream before Sirius had even reached him. Instead, he eyed him spitefully.

"What?" the younger boy asked arrogantly. "You didn't really think you'd manage to go without us knowing, did you?"

Sirius did not reply. He knew that it would not lead him anywhere good. He bit the inside of his cheek hard and pulled his trunk behind him, not worried about the noise it would make now. Regulus snorted and closed his door again. When he reached the landing, Sirius suddenly had a strong urge to kick his trunk and let it fall down the stairs, or maybe even throw it over the banister. Of course, he would hope to smash a few things in the process. What did he care anyway? He hated every single item displayed in the house. He hated the house. He hated the people in the house too.

Of course, he did not push his trunk down the stairs or throw it in the hall—the only reason for that being that there were some things in it that he did not want smashed to pieces. Silently cursing whoever had decided that students were not allowed to do any magic outside of school, he did his best to carry the trunk, praying that the weight was not going to make him tumble over. When he opened the door to the kitchen, his eyes immediately fell on the house elf busy lighting a fire.

"What is he doing here?" the elf shrieked when he saw Sirius. "Mistress has not informed Kreacher that he would be here first… Mistress always comes down first."

"Well she's still upstairs and I've been sent down here, so shut up and carry on doing whatever you were doing," Sirius spat viciously. As far as he was concerned, Kreacher and his brother were on the same level; a _very_ low one…

"Kreacher won't be doing his breakfast…oh no!" the elf muttered as he faced the fireplace again.

Overwhelmed by the desire to seize the elf and throw him into the fireplace, Sirius walked towards the stove. What good would it do if he tried to kill the house elf, on top of everything else?

"I wouldn't want you to cook for me anyway. Merlin knows what you'd sneak in my food while I'm not watching."

"It would serve everyone… He's not like everybody else; Mistress keeps saying so. He doesn't belong here…"

Sirius' heart lurched. What Kreacher was saying was far from being new, but it still hurt to be constantly reminded that no one in his family seemed to want him there. He made sure he did not glance at the elf once while he cooked himself some breakfast. But once he sat down at the big table, it was inevitable.

"You don't have to worry about me anymore," he suddenly said. "I'm going to Hogwarts today. You probably won't see me until next summer! Why would I bother coming back for the holidays?"

"Good riddance," was all he heard of what Kreacher mumbled.

"Actually, I'll be pretty happy to be away from you too. Imagine that; loads of house elves doing things for me without me even seeing them, and surely not hearing them complain all the time! And their food will be a million times better than what you come up with!"

"The house will be quieter once he's gone… Yes, quieter. Mistress will not need to shout anymore. She never shouts at the other boy… Regulus is a good boy; not like him… Regulus likes us…"

Sirius stared at the elf lost in his personal monologue. For a few seconds he was overcome by something akin to pity for the obviously insane creature, but it was soon replaced by anger.

"Well, Regulus and you will have all the time in the world from now on!"

"But he will not fit at Hogwarts either," Kreacher suddenly said, staring at Sirius and looking more lucid than the boy had ever seen him. "He doesn't belong _here_ and he won't belong _there_. He will be put in Slytherin like the girls were, but he won't fit _there_… He will never fit _anywhere_…"

"Shut up!"

"He knows Kreacher is only saying the truth."

"SHUT UP!!" Sirius yelled, jumping from his chair and throwing his plate on the floor with rage.

Just at that moment, his mother opened the door. "What's going on here? Sirius!" she barked when she saw the broken plate and remnants of food on the floor.

The boy froze. By the way she was looking at him, he was convinced she knew he had meant to leave unnoticed but had failed.

"If you've finished, you can clean up your mess and go to get your brother."

"He won't have gone back to sleep and anyway, he's old enough to get himself out of bed," Sirius said between gritted teeth.

She turned around, her face almost deformed with the fury she was trying to keep bottled up. "_One_ more word, young man, and you'll wish you had succeeded to leave this house on your own."

At that point, Sirius knew he had to keep quiet.

When the taxi stopped right in front of King's Cross station, Remus Lupin finally opened his eyes. He had made sure to sleep at least a little bit during the journey; it meant he did not have to think too much about what was coming up. The taxi driver helped get the huge trunk out of the boot while he and his mother got out of the car, and after his father had fumbled with the Muggle notes and paid the driver, they walk into the station. The frail, light-haired eleven-year old boy looked all around him as he followed his parents through the great halls of King's Cross Station. It was all so different from the quiet village where he had grown up. And he was not sure that he liked it here. He knew at once that they had almost reached Platform 9 ¾—of which he had heard so many times—when he saw other couples accompanied with children pulling big brown trunks and looking as anxious as he was.

No, come to think of it, no one could be as nervous as young Remus Lupin that day.

"Right," his father said once they had gone through the barrier, "Wait here with your mother while I have a look around."

Remus smiled feebly and looked at his father walking towards the train. When his eyes stopped on the locomotive bearing the huge 'Hogwarts Express' sign, his stomach lurched and he looked away.

His mother knelt in front of him. She looked at him and gave him a warm smile, placing her hands on his forearms. "Don't worry, Remus, everything will be fine."

He did not manage to reply and simply smiled back.

"Listen to me, sweetheart," she went on with the same kind tone, "You're doing great."

"But I'm not doing anything, Mum…"

"Remus, you have to stop worrying so much."

"I really don't think this is a good idea…"

She frowned for a second or two, but then smiled again. "We've made all the arrangements with Professor Dumbledore; _everything_ has been thought through."

"But what if there's one thing that doesn't go as planned. What if it goes wrong?" the boy asked, suddenly looking terrified, his entire body shaking. "Mum, the full moon's in only four days and…and I've never woken up without seeing your face…"

She gently held his face in her hands. "Oh, Remus, don't take what I'm going to say badly, but think about it… This is probably the _only_ chance you have to receive a normal education. Did you want us to send you to some horrible grotty school for children who are different?" The boy shook his head. "You aren't any different from all the other children here, you hear me? And I can guarantee that you are far smarter than most of them. Dumbledore is a wonderful man, Remus. He's giving you the chance of your life; don't miss it because you feel scared…"

"But it will be horrible not seeing you after…after—" he murmured, his voice broken by emotion.

"I know, sweetheart," she said as she held him close and gently ran her hand through his hair. Remus was not one of those boys ashamed to be hugged in public by his mother. He could hear the tears in her voice. "Do you not think that it hurts me too? I've always been there to look after you, yet now I can only hope that someone else does it just as well…"

She wiped the tears off her face and his too just in time before her husband returned. He gave them a second or two to compose themselves again and cleared his throat.

"Honey," he then said sweetly, "Let him go now… I'll take him to the train."

She held her son close one more time, doing her best to hold her tears back. "I will write to you every week, and make sure I send a _big_ box of chocolate every month, starting in four days, alright? Goodbye sweetheart… Make sure you look after yourself, will you?"

"I will. Bye, Mum," he managed to reply despite his throat feeling horribly tight.

Reluctantly, she let him go, got up and waved at him as he walked towards the train, pulling his trunk and trying to keep up with his father's pace.

Remus looked over his shoulder to glance at her one more time, but he suddenly collided with somebody else. When he turned around, he came face to face with a blue-eyed, dark-haired boy, slightly taller than him. The boy frowned and looked as though he was ready to bark something like, "Watch where you're going, midget!", but he did not.

"Sorry…" Remus mumbled, feeling his face flushing.

The other boy did not say anything or even look at him twice. He simply rolled his eyes, sighed and walked away.

"Remus, what are you doing?" his father called.

"I'm coming!"

They still had about ten to fifteen minutes before departure, but Remus knew his father always liked being early. To a stranger, it might have looked as though he was leaving his son on his own to try to go back to the quiet of the countryside as soon as possible, but Remus knew better.

"Right," his father said with a sigh after helping him get his trunk on the train. He stepped back down on the platform and stood in front of Remus, rearranging the boy's clothes. "I know you are very nervous now, son, but trust me; _everything will be fine_. Dumbledore will look after you. You can trust him entirely, do you hear me?"

"Yes, Dad."

"You can go to him whenever something's wrong. And to the Head of your House too. He or she will be informed as soon as you're sorted."

"I know, Dad."

The man cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well, you'd better go now so that you already have your seat when most of the children finally turn up."

Remus smiled but did not fail to notice that his father's eyes glistened in an unusual way. "I'll miss you, Dad."

Mr Lupin stopped short and Remus saw his jaw tensing. "So will I, son. Look after yourself and keep us informed, will you?" he added as he quickly embraced his son.

"I will, yes."

His heart clenching as though two hands of ice had suddenly grabbed and squeezed it tight, Remus smiled at his father one last time, before walking into the carriage immediately to his right. He soon found an empty compartment, and without thinking twice, he slid the glass-panelled door opened and stepped in. He had just finally sat down by the window when groups of students walked along the corridor, looking for empty compartments.

Determined not to engage conversation with anyone, he got a book out and made sure to remain turned towards the window whenever someone opened the door. A single tear rolled down his cheek when the train finally left the station.

Merlin only knew what was in store for him from now on…

"Hey, Sirius! In here, I've got a compartment!"

Sirius' features relaxed into a smile for the first time of the day. James Potter, an eleven-year old boy whom he had befriended in his junior Quidditch club was smiling at him. He was going to Hogwarts too, and the prospect of spending more time with him was the only thing that Sirius was looking forward to. Of course, they would not be sorted in the same houses, which might make things a little bit difficult…

"What took you so long?" James asked with a smile. "I thought we'd agreed to meet about half an hour ago? My parents were getting worried."

"I know, sorry… I thought I could escape from my house early this morning and come here on my own," Sirius replied sulkily. "But it didn't exactly go as I had planned."

"Oh… What happened?"

"My brother… Listen, I don't feel like talking about it, do you mind? I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to see you," he said with a grin, placing a hand on James' shoulder. "I don't want to have to worry until we get to Hogwarts; I want this journey to be fun, OK?"

"Sure!" James replied before frowning. "But why would you have to worry at Hogwarts?"

"The Sorting…"

"Well, we all worry about it, I suppose."

"I know, but that's because you don't know where the Hat will put you. I know exactly where _I'm_ going and yet I can do nothing to change it…"

"But, don't you think that there's a possibility that —"

"James, I told you before; my parents went there, so did their parents before them, and my three cousins are there, waiting for me…"

James frowned and scratched his head. He did not know what he was supposed to reply to that. It did look as though Sirius would be going to Slytherin indeed…

"Hey, let's not worry about that until we get there, OK? Look, I've got a huge bag of sweets! And Mum reckoned that your parents wouldn't allow you one more trip to Diagon Alley, so guess what… You've got one too!" he said with a grin wider than before as he presented Sirius with a similar bag filled to the top.

An honest smile stretched the other boy's lips as he accepted it and contemplated the idea of spending a couple of hours doing nothing but stuff himself with chocolates and sweets. Maybe if he made himself ill he would be able to miss the feast and the Sorting…

His smile disappeared when the door slid open again and three girls walked into the compartment.

"So that's where you went to hide!" said one with long dark hair.

"Oh great…" Sirius mumbled, looking away.

James knew right away that he had come face to face with the infamous Black sisters, whom Sirius had mentioned to him more than once. The one who had spoken was Bellatrix, followed closely by Narcissa and her blond locks and pointy nose. The third one, Andromeda, was the only one Sirius actually liked, because she was rather normal and liked him too.

"Come on, Bella," she said. "Leave him alone for the trip, we can go and sit somewhere else. I'd like to see my friends again, if you don't mind."

But Bellatrix did not take her eyes off Sirius. "Your mother was not even surprised when you left us and ran away earlier on. Apparently, you tried to do that this morning too… Shame your _little_ brother discovered what you were up to and ruined your plans…"

Sirius clenched his fists.

"Bella," Andromeda tried again, "Leave him alone."

Narcissa remained quiet and stared at James with narrowing eyes instead.

"I always thought it was a shame that you were the eldest one. This year would be a lot more fun if we had Regulus with us." She let out a horrible blood-freezing laugh and turned around. "Anyway, we won't have to wait long before he joins us as well," she added over her shoulder.

Before they left, Andromeda leaned towards Sirius. "Don't listen to what she says…" she said with an encouraging smile. "And enjoy your first trip, OK?"

Once they had left and closed the door again, Sirius let himself collapse on the seat behind him. "See now?" he asked James with an eyebrow raised.

When the Hogwarts Express finally came to a halt, most of the students suddenly realised it was high time they found their belongings again and this resulted in a very noisy commotion all over the train. Remus had put everything back in his trunk when he first felt that they were slowing down, and was now patiently staring out of the window again. It was so dark that he could see virtually nothing of Hogsmeade station, but he kept looking anyway because he still did not want to make eye contact with anyone.

He let most students climb off the train before getting up and slowly proceeding towards the doors himself. Once down on the platform and out of the way, his trunk by his side, he allowed himself a few seconds to stop and take deep breaths. For a moment, the buzz all around him seemed to abruptly be reduced to silence and he closed his eyes as the wind gently blew on his face.

But all too soon he was called back to reality when a voice called all first years to the end of the platform. With a pinch in his heart, he left his trunk to be taken care of along with all the others, and made his way towards the forming crowd at the end of said platform. They were taken down a steep, narrow path that ultimately led them to the lake, divided in small groups of four and put into boats. Not a very ceremonious process if you asked Remus, but his parents had told him all about it many times so he knew what to expect. When the castle came into view as they first reached the lake, the new students were taken aback by its magnificence and some did not manage to retain gasps. Remus, on the other hand, looked down and sighed softly. This was definitely not home anymore…

A tall and rather stern-looking witch clad in emerald-green robes welcomed them once they had arrived inside the castle.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, my name is Professor McGonagall," she said. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses…"

Feeling extremely apprehensive despite everything he knew about the ceremony, he wondered what it was like for students who knew nothing about it. But in this instance, even knowing every step of the way was no comfort, because there was still the unpredictable sorting hat. Even though he knew his parents had done their best to keep quiet about it, Remus was aware of the fact that no one could predict what the hat would say, sometimes even aloud. Now more than ever he wished he had not stepped on board of the Hogwarts Express.

Once Professor McGonagall had finished her speech about the houses and general rules, she gave them a couple of minutes to smarten up before finally taking them into the Great Hall. When they stopped in a line between the table where the teachers were sitting and Professor McGonagall placed a four-legged stool and the hat in front of them, Remus' heart gave a great big jump. He had not even looked at the enchanted ceiling, at which most students were still staring in wonder. The hat broke into a song which Remus only barely understood, the words coming in one ear and out of the other one as he tried to control his heartbeat and keep his emotions hidden from everyone around him.

"When I call your name," said Professor McGonagall, abruptly bringing him back to reality, "you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted."

Sirius clenched his fists and bit the inside of his mouth.

"This is it," he whispered to James. "I don't suppose we'll see each other very much from now on; I've come to understand that inter-house friendships aren't extremely popular…"

James sent him a worried look. "You'll be fine. And we'll find a way; they can sort us in different houses but they can't stop us from being friends."

"I wouldn't be too confident if I were you."

The few students went to sit apprehensively on the stool while the hat decided where to put them, and before long, it was his turn. The moment he had been dreading for as long as he could remember. The moment when they hat would seal his fate and crush every bit of hope he had ever had that things did not have to be that way.

"Black, Sirius!"

He might have been overreacting, but Sirius could swear that the entire Hall suddenly became more silent than before. He was now feeling definitely sick and wondered whether he could try pretending to faint, but James gently pushed him forward after a few seconds. The walk to the stool seemed to be the longest he had ever taken, and he was shaking when he sat on it, but he made sure not to let Professor McGonagall see. As his eyes fell on his cousins, Bellatrix grinning in an evil way, the hat dropped on his head and all went dark.

He heard a small voice in his ear and hoped that no one else could. "Let's see… Sirius Black, eh? I've seen more Blacks than you can imagine, my boy, and I know just what to do with you."

"No…" Sirius muttered, unable to stop himself.

"No? Really? And why not? I put both your parents in that house, and their parents before them. You've seen your three cousins, waiting for you, I presume."

"I don't want to go into that house. I don't want to go there…"

"Now this is a first. What should I do with you then? Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere but there! I know I probably don't belong in any of the houses, but please, not with them. I'm not like them. I'll show you I'm not like them!"

"Well! A Black who wants to prove himself; I've never seen that before! I suppose I could always—All right then, I know where to put you, but you'd better not disappoint me, boy. GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius was so shocked when he heard the name he had not dared wish for that he remained sat on the stool and Professor McGonagall had to help him to his feet. A split second later, he heard what sounded like a horrified gasp coming from the Slytherin table and did not need to look to know that it had come from Bellatrix. He did glance at her and saw that, just like Narcissa, her jaw had dropped and both girls looked as though they were ready to ask for Sirius to be sorted again because, surely, there had been a mistake. But then he saw Andromeda further along the table, and his heart swelled when she smiled and gave him the thumbs-up. Somehow, he managed to walk over to the table where the Gryffindor students looked rather bewildered, and also grin at James before collapsing on his seat.

"Lupin, Remus!"

The group was now much smaller than to start with, and Remus had noticed that, somehow, the hat had managed to put a rather equal number of students in each house so far, even though it was in no particular order at all. He did his best to keep his eyes on the floor as he cautiously walked towards the stool before sitting down on it and taking a very deep breath.

The last thing he saw was the Hall full of students, most of them staring at him, and he panicked for a few seconds before the hat dropped on his head. Remus had never liked being stared at, it made him uncomfortable, and he found being stared at by hundreds of people at once very hard to bear. But once he was plunged in the darkness, it somehow felt much better.

"What have we here then? Oh… Yes, our special case of the year," said a voice in his ear. The last comment made him tense at once but the voice spoke again. "No need to worry like this, young Mr Lupin. I know all about you, but I'm one of the only ones here… So, where shall we put you?"

As his hands gripped the edges of the stool and squeezed as hard as he could, he became aware of the fact that, just like for the tall, dark-haired boy called Sirius Black, this was taking longer than usual. The hat did not always shout out the name of the house at once, but the students never seemed to have an entire discussion with the hat. Well, that Sirius Black had, and he had seemed extremely surprised of the hat's answer too.

"So where do you want to go?"

"I…I don't know…" Remus thought, knowing that he did not have to speak out loud for the hat to hear him.

"I feel so much fear in you, boy. And believe me; every single student who sits on my stool is filled with fear, even the ones who pretend not to be. I know fear. But yours is different."

"Please, hurry up…"

"Why should I hurry? Why is it such a torture for you to sit here and listen to me?"

"I don't want them to…to notice me…"

"Ah… Standing out is the last thing you want, isn't it? You don't want to stay here for too long so they don't look at you in a funny way or, even worse, talk about you… You want to remain unnoticed and yet you yearn for nothing more than to be accepted; for _real_. You fear you don't belong here, because of who you are. This is the second time tonight… All right then!"

Remus squeezed the stool so hard his hands started to hurt.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

His eyes shot open again and he stood up at once when Professor McGonagall removed the hat before looking at her and then making his way to the Gryffindor table, where everyone welcomed him with rather loud cheers. He had no idea why they were cheering when none of them knew him, and it made him blush to the tip of his ears, but he appreciated it nonetheless. More than they could ever imagine. The hat had talked about acceptance, and there was the first sign that, maybe, he had been worrying too much and his parents were right after all.

He had a clear view of the teachers' table now and as his eyes slowly wandered over it, they met Albus Dumbledore's. The Headmaster appeared to be staring right at him, but the boy hesitated for a few seconds, convinced that the warm glance was directed at somebody else. However, when Dumbledore nodded and gave him a small wink, Remus could not help but smile back. Suddenly, he was no longer so worried about the private chat he would be having with the Headmaster and he Head of Gryffindor right after the feast. With the next full moon only a few days away, there were a few things they needed to discuss at once.

When Sirius and James finally walked into their dormitory, both of them were so exhausted—mentally and physically—that they felt they could have dropped on their beds and slept right away. When Sirius had stopped squealing excitedly about the sorting and how ballistic his mother would go upon learning about it, they had spent the entire feast blabbering and planning all sorts of things. Only in their wildest dreams had they imagined that they might be sorted in the same house, and this put everything back into perspective. Seven years together! Both boys felt that Christmas had come early and they had been given the best present ever.

On their way to Gryffindor Tower, they had tried to escape the group once or twice, but the prefects were particularly good and had seen them every time they put so much as a foot out of line. Still, the Common Room had been fun to explore. The majority of the new students had gone up to their dormitories right away, but Sirius and James had been far too excited, and the older students had not seemed to mind them being there. Until the prefects had sent them upstairs after threatening to report them to Professor McGonagall on the first night, that was.

"You'll see," Sirius had muttered as they climbed the stairs sulkily, "We'll teach them not to treat us like babies!"

James had not replied anything, suddenly feeling his limbs and eyelids very heavy; too heavy. Exploring and teaching older students lessons were the last things on his mind and when they opened the door, they suddenly remembered that they would not be the only ones in the dormitory. Sirius sighed and grunted as their eyes fell on the two other boys.

"My mother's mother is a Muggle and—"

Silence suddenly filled the room as the four boys looked at each other, and the one who had been speaking blushed and did not finish his sentence. He appeared to be slightly shorter than Sirius and rather frail. _Most probably not a Quidditch player…_ He had light hair and brown eyes that looked as though they did not want to linger on any face for more than a couple of seconds. The other boy was much shorter and chubby. _Now that one surely doesn't play Quidditch…_ Sirius could not precisely tell the colour of his eyes, but they surely did not look as sharp as the other boy's.

The chubby boy spoke first. "We haven't really chosen beds yet since you guys had not arrived."

"Doesn't really matter," James replied. "Can we have two side by side though?"

"Sure, I'll take this one here since my trunk's close to it and I guess you two can have those over there then."

"Which one do you want?" James asked Sirius.

"Whatever…" the latter replied, his cheerfulness gradually disappearing. He collapsed on one of the beds without a word.

James sighed and walked to the bed closest to the door. "Alright then, I'll take the other one!" he said as joyfully as he could in order to ignore Sirius's grumpy mood.

The chubby boy smiled at him. "My name's Peter."

"I'm James, and Grumpy over there is called Sirius. And you?" he asked the last boy, who had opened his trunk and was proceeding to fill his bedside table with books.

"Remus…"

Peter was staring at Sirius, who sensed it, suddenly sat up and stared back.

"You're a Black, aren't you?" he asked timidly.

Sirius frowned. "What's it to you?"

"I've…heard stories about your family…"

"Oh yeah? Good for you! I hope they were juicy ones that came back in your dreams to prevent you from sleeping," Sirius spat.

"There's no need to talk to him like that. He wasn't saying it in a bad way," the boy called Remus said calmly.

Given how he had barely said his name since the two boys had walked in the dormitory, Sirius was all the more surprised to be interrupted by him. He turned his head towards Remus and glared at him for a couple of seconds, until the other boy withdrew his gaze and stared at his feet. His cheeks were flushed and his entire body language betrayed the fact that if he could have dug a hole in the floor big enough to hide in, he would gladly have done so.

Sirius felt a strange pinch in his heart and remembered what the hat had told him about not disappointing him. Surely, this was not the best way to start. He could not explain his sudden change of mood. Now that he had accepted the hat's decision, the consequences were starting to dawn on him, and even though he was not going to admit it, he was scared. Scared of what his family would do upon learning that, indeed, he did not belong among them. Kreacher had been right. But only in part, because deep down, Sirius was determined to find his place among the Gryffindor students and show _everyone_ that he hat had not made a mistake by placing him in that house.

"I'm sorry…" he said after a few seconds and Remus looked up, something akin to a hint of hope brightening up his face. "I've just had a…difficult day. I didn't mean to shout at anyone. Don't take any notice."

He did not give them the chance to say anything and turned around before dragging his trunk towards the foot of his bed and closing the curtains around him. The three other boys looked at each other and James shrugged, hoping that Peter and Remus would eventually forgive Sirius' horrible behaviour. Then, without a word, the three of them repeated Sirius' gestures and got ready to go to bed.

Sirius did not bother coming out again, but while the other boys went back and forth between the bathroom and their beds, he was suddenly aware of one of them standing by his bed. Slowly, he propped himself up on an elbow and pulled the curtains opened. Remus was standing there, in his pyjamas, shifting his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Yes?" Sirius asked, hoping the other boy would dare to speak and not stand there silently for too long.

"I…I come from a small village in the countryside," Remus said slowly, his eyes wandering all over the bed, trunk and bedside table, but not meeting Sirius' own once. "And I haven't heard anything about your family. But I just wanted to say that even if I had, I'm not the kind of person who pays attention to those things. I like making my own judgements."

Sirius' eyebrows shot upwards and he found himself voiceless, which was highly unusual for him. "Thanks…" he eventually managed to say, sensing that the other boy had nothing else to add.

Remus smiled shyly and made his way towards his own bed. After a few seconds, Sirius pulled the curtains shut again and lay back on his bed. Maybe this was not such a bad start, after all.

And there was no way he could know it, but at the other end of the room, Remus was thinking the exact same thing.

FINITE INCANTATUM


End file.
